Now that Christmas is just around the corner, what better way to get yourself in a jolly mood other than by reading some hilarious chemistry jokes? The great thing about these jokes is that you can try and tell them to your friends during the Christmas party and bring a smile to their faces. With that being said, get ready to laugh your ass off because we have scoured the internet in search for the best chemistry jokes and we are going to present them right now.
- Two chemists walk into a bar. One says, “I’ll have an H20.” The other says, “I’ll have an H20 too.” The second chemist dies.
This should teach people how important adding a “too” (two) next to a chemical formula can be because H202 is the formula for hydrogen peroxide, which is not a safe beverage by any means.
- The official chemi-stree!
If you have yet to get buy presents for your loved ones, then you should know that you can’t ever go wrong with three Holmium (Ho, Ho, Ho) chemical formulas.
- Don’t trust atoms, they make up everything.
- How about the chemical workers…are they unionized?
- I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite… He said NaBrO.
- What is the chemical formula for “banana”? – BaNa2
- Helium walks into a bar. The bar tender says “we don’t serve noble glasses in here”. Helium doesn’t react.
- A proton and a neutron are walking down the street. The proton says, “Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it.” The neutron says, “Are you sure?” The proton replies “I’m positive”.
- Oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium and phosphorous walk into a bar. The bartender says, “OH SNaP!”.
- Holly holidays wouldn’t be the same without a good laugh.
- Who knew that Mariah Carey’s Christmas song is filled with so many chemical formula references?
- Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element. The proposed name is: Un-obtanium.
- The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.
- A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, “How much for a beer?” The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, “For you, no charge”.
- A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. “Oh Bunsen, my flame,” the sodium pined. “I melt whenever I see you,” The Bunsen burner replied, “It’s just a phase you’re going through.”
- If a bear in Yosemite and one in Alaska both fall into the water, which one dissolves faster? The one in Alaska, because it’s polar.
- Isaac Asimov said that if you want to find a chemist, ask him/her to discuss the following words: mole, unionized. As he so eloquently put it, “If he/she starts talking about furry animals and organized labor, keep walking”.